Eat Bolivians, not quinoa

A taste bouquet!

Of course quinoa is a complete protein, low in cholesterol and sodium; it tastes like bland mush.  But have you tried barbequed Bolivian? Om nom! Nom! Nom!  A culinary delight!   Much more flavorful my friend and they pack far more riboflavin than the measly 12% than quinoa has. 

So, it turns out that Andean people have developed a fondness for Twinkies.  I like Twinkies, too!  And they’re not cheap snacks, so slinging wheat –or whatever quinoa actually is – makes pretty good money.  Maybe I should consider taking up the life of an Andean quinoa farmer, then I could eat all the Twinkies and Bolivians I wanted.  But my scheme depends entirely upon the market value of quinoa staying static or rising.  The moment that tickle-headed, cry-baby, earth mothers start whining about the poor starving Bolivians with nothing but Twinkies to eat, everything goes to pot. 

Don’t stop eating quinoa. 

If you like the nasty taste, fine.  Good on you.  If you like it because it balances the acids in your chichi hoity-toity meal, whatever.  Keep the credit receipts running.  If you’re gluten-free for whatever personal reason – strap an oat-bag to you and feast directly upon quinoa.  You know you want to.

The moment you start boycotting quinoa is the moment the Andeans won’t have the money to spend on Twinkies, or quinoa.  Or schools, or healthcare, or any other of the infrastructure needs that they have, and let’s face it… it’s rural Peru/Bolivia.  They have some needs.  Don’t take a big crap on that because some children have discovered that coke-a-cola tastes good.  They’ve made the discovery because for the first time in their lives, they have access to global markets and can now load their bodies up with high fructose corn syrup. 

The downside of all this is the Bolivian Barbeque market will be irreparably ruined.  With their bodies laced with junk food, I just don’t see how they will be nearly as crunchy, meaty or as nutrient-dense as they once were.  I long for days forgot.