Two hundred seventeen dollars

Holy Crap!

Sea Monster is richer than Zimbabwe!

Way to go Bob! He is walking slow and swinging easy!

SM

Place your bets now

Teddy Bear has predicted his winner!  And who could argue with the prognosticative powers of this adorable Erethizon dorsatum?

Oh but wait?  What’s this? Young Canis lupus familiaris  upstarts!

Well, I suppose that clinches it.  Cute animals could never be wrong.  I shall bet my cream soda money forthwith. 

This leads headlines?

This leads headlines?  Ye gads there’s F-all news today.  Either the world is as dull as dishwater or reporters couldn’t spin real news into headline grabbing made-for-masses stories.  I fear the rest of the week will be full of Kardashians.  *shudders*

Stay classy, California

"Martinez already knows Hernandez's dream wedding: a ceremony at the Staples Center."

Eat Bolivians, not quinoa

A taste bouquet!

Of course quinoa is a complete protein, low in cholesterol and sodium; it tastes like bland mush.  But have you tried barbequed Bolivian? Om nom! Nom! Nom!  A culinary delight!   Much more flavorful my friend and they pack far more riboflavin than the measly 12% than quinoa has. 

So, it turns out that Andean people have developed a fondness for Twinkies.  I like Twinkies, too!  And they’re not cheap snacks, so slinging wheat –or whatever quinoa actually is – makes pretty good money.  Maybe I should consider taking up the life of an Andean quinoa farmer, then I could eat all the Twinkies and Bolivians I wanted.  But my scheme depends entirely upon the market value of quinoa staying static or rising.  The moment that tickle-headed, cry-baby, earth mothers start whining about the poor starving Bolivians with nothing but Twinkies to eat, everything goes to pot. 

Don’t stop eating quinoa. 

If you like the nasty taste, fine.  Good on you.  If you like it because it balances the acids in your chichi hoity-toity meal, whatever.  Keep the credit receipts running.  If you’re gluten-free for whatever personal reason – strap an oat-bag to you and feast directly upon quinoa.  You know you want to.

The moment you start boycotting quinoa is the moment the Andeans won’t have the money to spend on Twinkies, or quinoa.  Or schools, or healthcare, or any other of the infrastructure needs that they have, and let’s face it… it’s rural Peru/Bolivia.  They have some needs.  Don’t take a big crap on that because some children have discovered that coke-a-cola tastes good.  They’ve made the discovery because for the first time in their lives, they have access to global markets and can now load their bodies up with high fructose corn syrup. 

The downside of all this is the Bolivian Barbeque market will be irreparably ruined.  With their bodies laced with junk food, I just don’t see how they will be nearly as crunchy, meaty or as nutrient-dense as they once were.  I long for days forgot.

Let them eat cake?

As it’s been recently reported, the result of massive demand for the protein-rich crop quinoa has an effect.  Children living in the crop’s Andean farming region are starving because their parents can no longer afford the market price for their traditional staple food.  Instead of eating the crop, they’ve turned to crap and are living on a nutrient-poor junk food diet.  Before you sniff your nose and say, ‘but I eat junk food three times a day and it doesn’t do me any harm,’ please note the malnutrition and child mortality rate in Peru and Bolivia.  When children are starving, it seems everyone has found someone to blame.

A disgusted Mimi Bekhechi, of the Guardian, said, “animal agriculture that is the real villain because meat consumption is an inefficient use of grain.” Oh yes Mimi, please take this moment to further your own agenda. 

In a drug reference addled rant, Virginia Heffernan of Yahoo! News whinged about the foodies. But I can’t take her seriously, either.  The NY Times says the same thing, only they call them, “health-conscious consumers.”   

My, pointy fingers certainly are sharp! 

There’s more to the story than just hunger.  Increased farming profits means that armed disputes have broken out over previous unclaimed land.  It's a worthless persuit to point fingers at people who enjoy the dish.  Nobody who ordered a quinoa-laced meal did so thinking, 'oooh, I hope I'll opress children with every savory bite.'   Market conditions were simply created.

Whether you believe Whole Foods is the enemy or not, there’s a truth to remember: when a scarce resource is exploited people will get hurt.  Whether it is diamonds and minerals in Africa, oil in the Middle East, tea in Asia, or gold in the Americas.  Pick any banana republic and you will hear a song of sorrow.  It has been the pervading belief that economic-might means right.  By having superior means, any industry can invade, looking to turn handsome profits, and abuse those without means.   And the rest is a sad commentary on our shared world history.

So where does this leave the starving children in Bolivia?  In limbo.  Quinoa is a fad, but coffee and tea both started out as fads, too.  Difficult as this maybe to imagine, in a hundred years our descendants may live off it.  Or, it could be beloved by a smattering of die-hard fans, like marmite!  Though I doubt marmite ever killed anyone…  Some marmite eaters may kill for it, but that would be entirely different.

We’re trying though.  (We as in the big, honkin’ royal WE.)  We are trying to be better, more politically correct, tolerant, less carbon foot-print-y, and entering a new millennium.  We haven’t got it perfect yet.  We’re still getting it wrong and learning from our mistakes, but one thing we’re working towards is ‘making healthier food choices.’  Remember that one from your New Years’ Resolutions?  Thought so.  

Making healthier food choices can mean choosing foods that don’t come with a human price tag attached.  Everyone is responsible for how they shop.  Me?  I shop quinoa-free because I don’t touch most health food with a ten foot pole.  The fact that a ridiculously overpriced $6.00 box of quinoa salad is going towards an oppressive economic machine should make people uncomfortable.  All kidding aside, history has proven this set of circumstances never ends well for the indigenous peoples affected.  Quinoa has a funny name, but is it any different than any other scarce commodity exploited by multi-national corporations?

Stop pushing the blame on foodies, gluten-free dieters, and consumers – do something.  People make the ethical choice to shop cruelty-free all the time by buying local, by buying vegan, by buying free-trade.  Whatever your moral compass is, put quinoa on the map.

Feel free to debate me and tell me I’m wrong in the comments. 
 

Quinoa: a taste for death

Just a few short days ago, Quinoa: a staple crop of connoisseurs, gluten-restrictive diets and indigenous Andean peoples, suddenly burst onto the spotlight.  With such attention-grabbing headlines as:

Eating quinoa may harm farmers, but eating meat harms us all

How many Bolivians are dying because foodies love quinoa?

For Bolivian farmers, the boom is both boon and bane

It was made for a Perseus vs. Sea Monster showdown.

 

About us

Perseus Zeus:

In real life, Perseus has boobies.  In school, Perseus was known an utter swot – which was quite before being nerdy was in vogue.  While active in Model United Nations, Perseus believed she could solve all the world’s problems with a very cleverly written binding resolution and a grand releasing of peace doves.  Now, she is far less certain, though the doves would be a nice touch.  Perseus volunteered to serve in the military and thinks that more people ought to be encouraged to do the same.  She believes it is a wonderful life experience, a civic obligation, and an excellent way to give back. 

For funsies Perseus likes to go to the movies.

Sea Monster:

In real life, the Sea Monster is far less tentacle-ly than one would imagine.  Although, owing to a restrictive diet, he is quite grumpy and stompy and growly.  One of the Sea Monster's favorite life accomplishments was winning a 'best scar competition' at the Snow Bunny Ski Lodge.  On particular occasions, he likes to wear cable knit sweaters, tip a neat glass of scotch and when prompted, sing.  The Sea Monster was drafted to serve in the military and believes all bastards should be forced to do the same. 

For funsies the Sea Monster likes to ruin the ending of movies.

Perseus and the Sea Monster are married happily ever after…